Taking some time to just BE...

I'm struggling this week and as a result, I haven't been meal-planning, I haven't been cooking, I've been spending way too much money.  It is interesting to me how when you go numb for a bit, the easy everyday tasks get done but with no regard to any of your cares.  I haven't cared if the kids eat chicken and fries two meals a day or if their food has been all that healthy.  I just haven't had the energy or the fight to deal with it.  That's ok.

I've started this post about three times and erased it.  I'm having a hard time titling it.  Hopefully I will fill it in before I save it because then it won't save and that's what I've let happen...I've let my words be erased in technology-land.  But I'm trying to just let go what I have had to say.

Last week started with a dr appointment for a four-week cold.  I received my treatment and the dr said I had a heart murmur.  I was surprised because I had never heard that before and before I knew it, my EKG came back abnormal and I was scheduled for an echiocardiograph the next day.  I go in and leave with the expectations that the dr will call me with any abnormal news.  And so I began waiting.

I recieved a phone call last Tuesday night from our Preschool Director that our beloved teacher lost her husband unexpectedly.  He was only 31 and he passed doing one of his favorite things--hunting.  He left behind a lovely, inspirational wife, two small children (one on the way as well) and an absolutely heartbroken community.  I didn't know him but I hope that I can impact people the way he did and I hope that we can continue to support Vee as these difficult days come. 

Oh, the church community that they all belong to is UNBELIEVABLE.  Everybody just picked up responsibilities and got them done selflessly.  When we are ready to go back to church, I think we have found a new home.  :)

I received the phone call Friday night that I needed to come in Monday for a physical and to go over my results.  Apparently I have a leaky valve but I guess that's pretty normal.  No cardiologist, no exercise reduction or monitoring and the dr couldn't even hear the murmur yesterday.  Awesome news!  Then as he is checking my pulse tones and reflexes, he finds that they are feeble.  Over the summer I was diagnosed with a syndrome that leaves my feet feeling achingly cold all the time.  It is supposed to be more annoying then a concern.  Well, dr is ordering all sorts of bloodwork to make sure the circulation syndrome isn't masking itself as a neurolgical issue or an auto-immune disease like Lupus.  It's one thing after another...just hoping I remain healthy. 

That was one week.  So no, I am not going to meal plan, tell you about a great recipe or tell you how to be more eco-friendly.  I promise I will be back to that but for this second,

 I am going to just be...

be love

hug often

give thanks

show grace

act with compassion.

If anybody is interested in donating to the King Family Memorial Fund, please let me know.  :)